How Goal Setting Turned Me Into a Dance Mom
I have 5 daughters. All of them dance and the 4 oldest are on the competition team at our studio. My oldest daughter (14) is aware that she struggles with stage presence. She really does try, but she gets up on stage and admits that she is so focused on making her feet do the right things that she forgets to smile and act the part. So, last year I told her if she tried her hardest I would buy her a book as a reward – she’s a HUGE reader! (Bear with me. I promise this will relate to crochet.)
She did great with that reward as her motivation, so I decided this year I was going to up the stakes on her. She’s a little bit older, she said she wants to do better, and I know she can. I don’t want to just give her a reward for getting up there, I want to give her a reward for giving it 100%. So I told her this year she had to place in the top 5 for her age category. (Please note: I am not one of those moms who pushes there kids beyond the point they should be pushed. This was a mutual agreement that my teenager and I came up with.)
So, the other day she was telling one of the moms at the studio about our agreement, and gave her the rundown with the new terms that she had to place in the top 5. The other mom’s response to me was, “You’re such a dance mom.” I tried not to let it show that I was crushed. (For those that have never seen the show Dance Moms, it’s not a compliment to be compared to those women.) I’ve known this mom for a long time and I couldn’t believe she would think that I am like that. All the way home I tried to figure out why she would say that. (I believe we can learn lessons from everything in life and I was willing to learn something from this if I could.) Then it hit me. I wonder if she thought the “place in the top 5” comment was so that my daughter could beat her child or the other kids at the studio? Honestly that thought had never even crossed my mind! The only thought I had ever had was that I wanted my daughter to learn to push past her own limits and know that she could do anything she set her mind to.
The only competition we should have is being better than we were yesterday.
It was then that I realized I’m ok with the title “dance mom” if it means helping my daughter reach the best version of herself that she can be. I don’t have to accept the negative connotation that goes along with it, and I made the decision I’m not going to. Now, I bet you’re wondering, how does all that relate to crochet?
Confidence + Determination + Character
- Confidence – You need to believe in yourself. I need to take some of my own advice as well, which is why confidence is my word of the year for 2016. And because I lack confidence I am trying to build that in my girls at a young age. Adding confidence to your crocheting can be something as simple as trying a new stitch or beginning to selling your finished items. Believe you can and you’re half way there.
Note: There is however a difference between confidence and conceit, and if someone doesn’t know you well enough it may come across the wrong way. Based on interaction with this mom recently and in the past, I wonder if she sees my competitive nature, mixed with my excitement when I overcome a challenge, and maybe she’s seeing it as conceit? Just be aware of how you come across.
- Determination – Determination is what keeps you going despite the obstacles in front of you, and you will need determination to be successful. I want my daughters to know they can do whatever they put their minds to. The same goes for your crochet. Be determined to learn that new stitch or finish those UFO’s (unfinished objects/projects) that you’ve been wanting to finish. Or maybe you want to start earning money with your crochet. Whatever it may be, be determined.
- Character – When I overcome and obstacle or challenge I have set for myself, I need to be careful how I come across. Based on the reaction of my friend from dance (and other interactions I have had with her) I am now aware that maybe I’m portrayed as trying to be better than others. That’s totally not the case, but if that’s how I’m seen then maybe I need to re-evaluate my actions. I’m a firm believer that mistakes are ok as long as you learn from them. The same goes for crochet. One of the 5 Things I Will NOT Do in 2016 is compare myself to other crocheters or crochet bloggers. You need to do the same. Keep your character genuine and be the best version of you possible.
Making and Achieving Goals
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One of the first goals I set for myself was to do a monthly goal setting and then post it here because it’s a proven fact that accountability works. With our first dance competition of the season this coming weekend I’m posting my January review and February goals a few days early so I don’t forget. Here’s how I did:
- Create my opt-in freebie that I’ve been planning forever – I need to get this done first thing in Feb!
Create 1 new pattern to publish– My Grapevine Scarf pattern is now available. Finish and publish 1 unfinished pattern– 2 patterns done; will be published next week. Post 2 new blog posts/week, every week in Jan. (8 total)– 10 posts published!
- Grow my crochet readership (newsletter) from 1,100 to 1,500 – 1,136
- Grow my Pinterest followers from 1,332 to 2,000 – 1,455
- Grow Facebook followers from 6,432 to 7,000 – 6,474
- Grow Twitter followers from 489 to 1,000 – 516
Continue to work through Your Best Year 2016 planner
- Finish unpacking my school/work room – Unpacked about 5 boxes. Hopefully I will finish in February.
- Track income and expenses
I also started using Instagram on Jan. 20 and already have 40 followers. (not too bad for 1 week)
Now, the whole point in doing this every month is two-fold. Not only do I have a goal list to work from, but I want to actually review it and see what worked and what didn’t, and what could I possible change for next month. The one thing I did notice is that my numbers I chose to grow my social media to were a little – ok a lot – out of reach. They weren’t realistic and I want my goals to be just out of reach so that I have to try really hard, and yet not so hard that after a couple months my desire to keep moving forward wanes. So, I’ve tweaked the numbers and changed things up a bit. Here’s what I’ll be aiming for in February.
- Create my opt-in freebie that I’ve been planning forever.
- Create 1 new pattern to publish.
- Finish and publish 1 unfinished pattern.
- Post 10 new blog posts in Feb.
- Grow Facebook from 6,474 to 6,550.
- Grow my blog + each of my social media accounts by 10%.
– Blog – 1,136 to 1,250
– Pinterest – 1,455 to 1,600
– Twitter – 516 to 568
– Instagram – 40 to 44
- Continue to work through Your Best Year 2016 planner + Luminaries Club.
- Finish unpacking my school/work room.
- Track income and expenses.
Many of these goals are the same. Once they become habit I will be replacing them with new goals. By applying the principles above – confidence + determination + character – it will be easier for all of us to achieve our goals this year.
What are some of the goals you set for this year? I’d love for you to share them.
Your Crocheting Dance Mom,